Saying Goodbye

Once upon a time fast food was a staple of my life. I would stop at various fast food establishments multiple times a day without second thought and certainly no regret. I had no idea how much more money I was spending on take out versus how much I could have been saving had I gone grocery shopping more often. I had no idea how much better I could have been feeling had I been making well balanced meals at home versus high fat, high sodium, high calorie meals. But perhaps the unhealthy take-out meals were not the only problem. When I did go grocery shopping, my cart wasn’t colorful. It was full of pre-packed frozen dinners, pizzas, ice cream, etc…


Does this mean today that I don’t eat fast food at all? No, of course not. But I do make very different choices. You just have to work the menu for what you need. Is it easier ordering a number 2? It sure is, but what are you getting out of it? Instead order a salad with grilled chicken on it. You need the protein; just a bunch of lettuce isn’t going to do anything for your body. It’s a better choice.

With that said, recently I learned something about myself. I stopped to grab a sandwich from a major fast food chain. I was hours away from home, I ran out of snacks. I made a choice. I knew exactly how to make it work and stay within my calorie range, though it would be a fat and sodium bomb. I didn’t want a salad, I really wanted a burger. I made a calculated decision that I normally would shy away from.

However, it ended up not being the bomb I thought it would be. I took one bite and hated it. I thought it was absolutely disgusting. This isn’t the first time that this had happened when I grabbed something quick and convenient. It’s been happening time and time again. I felt sad because I no longer enjoy the food that gave me such a sense of pleasure in the past.

I needed to figure out why I was getting upset. Surely I couldn’t have been that unhappy simply because I didn’t like something with a million calories in it that would serve me no purpose. I had to do some soul searching. I had to, there was no choice. Why was I sad about not enjoying fast food?

I realized that I was sad because I was letting go of a part of my past. I was letting go of an old friend that comforted me when I felt all alone. I was letting go of the bitterness I carried with me from events that occurred in my past. I was letting go of the fear and the anger of the past. There is no need to fear the past. The past has already happened. I’m fine. The anger, I just had to let it go. Food is not my constant companion anymore. Food is nothing more than fuel that ensures my body can work to its fullest potential.

Before, when people would talk about mind-body-soul, I thought I understood what they were saying. But I didn’t believe it. Why? Because I didn’t get it. My body was getting healthier and stronger, I was able to accept my spirituality and be ok with who I am without any apologies. It was the mind that wasn’t fully on board. I get it now. It is clear and I don’t understand how I didn’t see it before. But that doesn’t matter now. What matters is I am transforming into an even stronger person with more understanding of who I am today and who I was yesterday. I also have a clear picture of what I will look like tomorrow. While the future isn’t set in stone, I do know it is a very bright future with endless possibilities.

I love how great life can be if we are willing to do the hard work and face ourselves.


Stay Strong.