The Mayo Clinic defines binge eating as:
a serious eating disorder in which you frequently consume unusually large amounts of food. Almost everyone overeats on occasion, such as having seconds or thirds of a holiday meal. But for some people, overeating crosses the line to binge-eating disorder and it becomes a regular occurrence, shrouded in secrecy.
When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating.
As someone who has a history of binge eating I totally get the unfairness of it all. So many people just wonder why or how a person can eat so much. They think it’s disgusting. I don’t think they realize that we feel the same way. I know I felt guilty after a binge, as do many others. This is probably why binge eaters keep it a secret. People who binge come in all different sizes, they can be at a healthy ideal weight, morbidly obese, or somewhere in between, though usually the person is overweight.
There are signs and symptoms of binge eating which include but are not limited to: eating an unusually large amount of food, eating alone, eating when full, eating fast, feeling grossed out about your eating, the feeling of depression, feeling out of control, hoarding food, and dieting.
We live in a culture where thin is beautiful, everyone wants to have that perfect body which is why I believe once a binge is over people are so hard on themselves with feelings of disgust, anger, and sometimes even remorse. This in turn can trigger another binge.
What triggers a binge? The actual cause is still unknown but there are various factors that come into play which is why it is different from person to person. There are triggers for people who binge, it can be stress which becomes more and more prevalent around the holidays or they may be unable to express anger or frustration at a situation. Emotions are the biggest triggers, and it doesn't have to be just the feeling of anxiousness or frustration, ANY emotion can trigger a binge. Also certain foods can cause people to go on an all out binge because some foods can artificially inflate the dopamine levels. Knowing this, is why I believe triggers can be both psychological and biological.
My Secret
There are certain foods that I must avoid at all costs because it can potentially trigger a binge. I have debated on whether or not I wanted to share what one of my past binges looked like. The biggest pro of sharing this information was letting you know that you are not alone; that there are real people out there who are going through or have gone through the same thing. The biggest negative was- it’s a secret. I have only talked about this with those who I have sought help from. I’m not proud of it, I feel ashamed by it because I should know better, and I do know better, but the loss of control during a binge seems so much stronger than my will to stop. I won't go into specific details because I'm not comfortable with sharing such intimate details for the world to see.
One night I was feeling overwhelmed with emotion; I was super stressed about an incident that occurred earlier that day. I just wanted to watch some TV and unwind, forgetting that the whole thing ever happened. At first I was just watching TV, then I got to thinking about cookies…I went into the kitchen and grabbed 4 cookies and a pop. Next thing I knew I had emptied the kitchen in a matter of a few hours
Even today, I still feel embarrassed, ashamed, and a bit nauseated by what I consumed and put my body through. I felt horrible about myself. I looked at the carnage and empty kitchen and asked myself why. I had no idea. I felt out of control, I was full while I was eating, I was getting more and more uncomfortable…Yet I couldn't’t stop. I was totally out of control. Looking back, I could say I almost felt high from the food I was eating, similar to how one feels when they have taken morphine.
The next day I started a “diet.” Which of course led to more binges. Of course the need to "diet" was enhanced by how horrible I felt the next few days. I had body aches, it was hard to sleep, I was bloated, sluggish, and just felt all around miserable. Today, I understand why I felt so terrible, it wasn't just because the the large amount of food. It was the foods I choose. I ate a ridiculous amount of processed foods. Eating a large amount of processed foods can artificially elevate dopamine, which allows us to feel pleasure. So while I was gorging on chips and cakes I was feeling very very good. That feeling of good, then tells your brain that the food tastes better than it really does, making it harder and harder to stop. So then comes the big question. Why? Why did I need "feel good" food to bring me pleasure, what was going on that I sought comfort in the very thing that made me feel so sick? I found some of those answers when I sought out help.
So believe me, when I say I understand I really do. I urge you to seek out help. Binge eating can be dangerous; it’s not good for you. It can and will do terrible things to both your physical and mental health. Contact someone you trust, a doctor, spiritual leader, counselor…or if you aren’t comfortable with that just yet. Start with talking to a friend about it. Let them help you make that first step, who knows they may even go to your first appointment with you.
Having a support system is priceless, without it I probably wouldn't be doing as good as I am now.
Help Yourself
There are things you can do to help yourself. Stick to your treatment plan and don’t hide if you have a setback. There will be setbacks; it’s not a perfect road. But don’t let those setbacks define you. Let your ability to rebound and learn build you. Keep an open line of communication open between you and whoever is helping you. Avoid dieting. Yes I know this was a hard one for me too! I had set meal plans; I wasn’t to count calories anymore…Counting calories…oh a huge trigger for me. I don’t count now and it is wonderful. Don’t stock up on food. If the food isn’t in the house it’s a lot harder to binge. Also exercise! If you are feeling stressed about something and you know stress is one of your triggers, go for a walk, go to the gym, chop down a tree, shovel the driveway, do something physical to get your endorphins going. Endorphin release will make you feel happier and can potentially prevent a binge all together.
Remember binge eating is an eating disorder and it should not be taken lightly. Eating disorders seem rather cruel to me. Unlike substance abuse, it is impossible to avoid food. We need food to survive, remember food is fuel. So it’s not like someone with an eating disorder can just avoid it. WE need it to survive. So if we get too much or too little fuel, there will be devastating affects to our bodies and up to and including death.
Binge eating can also lead to another type of eating disorder. Bulimia. Bulimia differs from binge eating in one area. That is what they do after a binge. Those who suffer from bulimia will try to get rid of the food through deliberate purging; ie, self induced vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise, or any combination. Again, if this is you please seek out help. I know it’s scary, I know all the emotions that go along with it. Just start by having a simple conversation with someone who you trust or call 1-800-931-2237 for free and confidential help from the National Eating Disorder Association.
For more information on eating disorders go to:
nationaleatingdisorders.org
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders
Overeater's Anonymous
