A Serious Note: Binge-Eating Disorder

We hear the term “binge eating” a lot. People saying things like “I totally binged last night, I had a whole pizza and half a carton of ice cream.” Or "Wow, I ate too much I need to unbutton my pants!" This is especially common around the holidays. But did they really binge?

The Mayo Clinic defines binge eating as:

a serious eating disorder in which you frequently consume unusually large amounts of food. Almost everyone overeats on occasion, such as having seconds or thirds of a holiday meal. But for some people, overeating crosses the line to binge-eating disorder and it becomes a regular occurrence, shrouded in secrecy.

When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating.

 As someone who has a history of binge eating I totally get the unfairness of it all. So many people just wonder why or how a person can eat so much. They think it’s disgusting. I don’t think they realize that we feel the same way. I know I felt guilty after a binge, as do many others. This is probably why binge eaters keep it a secret. People who binge come in all different sizes, they can be at a healthy ideal weight, morbidly obese, or somewhere in between, though usually the person is overweight.

There are signs and symptoms of binge eating which include but are not limited to: eating an unusually large amount of food, eating alone, eating when full, eating fast, feeling grossed out about your eating, the feeling of depression, feeling out of control, hoarding food, and dieting.

We live in a culture where thin is beautiful, everyone wants to have that perfect body which is why I believe once a binge is over people are so hard on themselves with feelings of disgust, anger, and sometimes even remorse. This in turn can trigger another binge.

What triggers a binge? The actual cause is still unknown but there are various factors that come into play which is why it is different from person to person. There are triggers for people who binge, it can be stress which becomes more and more prevalent around the holidays or they may be unable to express anger or frustration at a situation. Emotions are the biggest triggers, and it doesn't have to be just the feeling of anxiousness or frustration, ANY emotion can trigger a binge. Also certain foods can cause people to go on an all out binge because some foods can artificially inflate the dopamine levels. Knowing this, is why I believe triggers can be both psychological and biological.



My Secret

There are certain foods that I must avoid at all costs because it can potentially trigger a binge. I have debated on whether or not I wanted to share what one of my past binges looked like. The biggest pro of sharing this information was letting you know that you are not alone; that there are real people out there who are going through or have gone through the same thing. The biggest negative was- it’s a secret. I have only talked about this with those who I have sought help from. I’m not proud of it, I feel ashamed by it because I should know better, and I do know better, but the loss of control during a binge seems so much stronger than my will to stop. I won't go into specific details because I'm not comfortable with sharing such intimate details for the world to see.

One night I was feeling overwhelmed with emotion; I was super stressed about an incident that occurred earlier that day. I just wanted to watch some TV and unwind, forgetting that the whole thing ever happened. At first I was just watching TV, then I got to thinking about cookies…I went into the kitchen and grabbed 4 cookies and a pop. Next thing I knew I had emptied the kitchen in a matter of a few hours

Even today, I still feel embarrassed, ashamed, and a bit nauseated by what I consumed and put my body through. I felt horrible about myself. I looked at the carnage and empty kitchen and asked myself why. I had no idea. I felt out of control, I was full while I was eating, I was getting more and more uncomfortable…Yet I couldn't’t stop. I was totally out of control. Looking back, I could say I almost felt high from the food I was eating, similar to how one feels when they have taken morphine.

The next day I started a “diet.” Which of course led to more binges. Of course the need to "diet" was enhanced by how horrible I felt the next few days. I had body aches, it was hard to sleep, I was bloated, sluggish, and just felt all around miserable. Today, I understand why I felt so terrible, it wasn't just because the the large amount of food. It was the foods I choose. I ate a ridiculous amount of processed foods. Eating a large amount of processed foods can artificially elevate dopamine, which allows us to feel pleasure. So while I was gorging on chips and cakes I was feeling very very good. That feeling of good, then tells your brain that the food tastes better than it really does, making it harder and harder to stop. So then comes the big question. Why? Why did I need "feel good" food to bring me pleasure, what was going on that I sought comfort in the very thing that made me feel so sick? I found some of those answers when I sought out help.

So believe me, when I say I understand I really do. I urge you to seek out help. Binge eating can be dangerous; it’s not good for you. It can and will do terrible things to both your physical and mental health. Contact someone you trust, a doctor, spiritual leader, counselor…or if you aren’t comfortable with that just yet. Start with talking to a friend about it. Let them help you make that first step, who knows they may even go to your first appointment with you.

Having a support system is priceless, without it I probably wouldn't be doing as good as I am now.

Help Yourself

There are things you can do to help yourself. Stick to your treatment plan and don’t hide if you have a setback. There will be setbacks; it’s not a perfect road. But don’t let those setbacks define you. Let your ability to rebound and learn build you. Keep an open line of communication open between you and whoever is helping you. Avoid dieting. Yes I know this was a hard one for me too! I had set meal plans; I wasn’t to count calories anymore…Counting calories…oh a huge trigger for me. I don’t count now and it is wonderful. Don’t stock up on food. If the food isn’t in the house it’s a lot harder to binge. Also exercise! If you are feeling stressed about something and you know stress is one of your triggers, go for a walk, go to the gym, chop down a tree, shovel the driveway, do something physical to get your endorphins going. Endorphin release will make you feel happier and can potentially prevent a binge all together.

Remember binge eating is an eating disorder and it should not be taken lightly. Eating disorders seem rather cruel to me. Unlike substance abuse, it is impossible to avoid food. We need food to survive, remember food is fuel. So it’s not like someone with an eating disorder can just avoid it. WE need it to survive. So if we get too much or too little fuel, there will be devastating affects to our bodies and up to and including death.

Binge eating can also lead to another type of eating disorder. Bulimia. Bulimia differs from binge eating in one area. That is what they do after a binge. Those who suffer from bulimia will try to get rid of the food through deliberate purging; ie, self induced vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise, or any combination. Again, if this is you please seek out help. I know it’s scary, I know all the emotions that go along with it. Just start by having a simple conversation with someone who you trust or call 1-800-931-2237 for free and confidential help from the National Eating Disorder Association.



For more information on eating disorders go to:

nationaleatingdisorders.org
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders
Overeater's Anonymous

Don't Quit!

Every year many people flock to the gym with the best of intentions. They come faithfully for one or two months and then are not seen again...or until next year. 


Look what happens when you stick with it. The white shirt, used to me my gym shirt. Now it's the orange shirt which I will wear whenever I have the opportunity! I love it! I also have multiple black one's in the same style ;) 

This success can be yours too. You just have to stick with it. Yes it's hard, yes it takes time, yes it can get frustrating, but the rewards are many. The rewards go far deeper than looks. They are inside. You will feel amazing, energized, and you too will motivate others. You can do this! We are doing this together.

Live Healthy my friends :)

You Are More Than A Weekly Weigh In Number

It is clear that the scale isn't the only way to measure success. Sometimes, the scale doesn't reflect the amount of effort a person puts in week after week. Don't let a non moving or slow moving scale discourage you. Instead focus on your personal triumphs.



Here is how I measure my success.



I am up to 240lbs for the leg press. This doesn't mean I am forever staying at this weight. I have gradually increased my weight from 80lbs to where it is now. How I judge success is: Can I do it longer? Can I add more weight? Can I handle more resistance? Can I do this weight with one leg? Oh and I can :) Can I add extra calf raises?


Stairs (which I hate btw) I judge success by can I run up and down 3 times. Can I add additional weight? Can I add more laps? Can I add in a strength interval?


Plyometrics is hard for me, but I do it anyway. I judge success by determining whether I can do more of level 2 and 3 over level 1? Can I jump higher? Can I consistently jump onto the large step and back down or do I need to rest? How long do I last until I need a break? Did I last longer this time?


Being aware of how I feel is a good gauge in helping me determine how I'm doing. It's hard not to feel good when you work out like a maniac. Endorphins are a good thing. If I'm not feeling good, maybe I'm doing something wrong. Or maybe I slacked off. Sometimes, I could just be having an off day and that is ok. Everyone has an off day. You can't be perfect all the time. Additionally, I am cognizant of how my clothes are fitting; are they loose? Are they getting tight? Getting tight is a bad thing. If this happens, look at your exercise, look at your food log, are you being honest with yourself? Nip it in the bud, don't wait until you are shopping for larger clothes.

Right now I am fighting an uphill battle with the flexed arm hang. I must pass the flexed arm hang test to be considered for a fitness certification I have my eyes set on. My shoulder is stubborn, not healing to my standards. It has been left extremely weak. So I've been practicing. As of right now I am concentrating on just hanging for 15 seconds. When I first tried I lasted 3, then 6, now 11. To me that is success. There is progressive improvement. I am working on grip strength and mental toughness. I want to be sure I give this goal my all. If it turns out I can't do the hang without damaging my shoulder I won't go for the certification, but for now... I'm going for it until my body tells me otherwise.


With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~Eleanor Roosevelt


Another measurement of success is passing up an extra slice of pizza, ordering a salad instead of fried chicken, passing up a beer for lemon water. These too are successes.


Success lies around every corner. It doesn't always have to reflect a number. Sometimes success is simply doing just a little better or making the harder choice.


What are your successes?


Be proud of what you have achieved.

Holiday Mayhem Part 1-Cooking

It’s November 1. It’s now the holiday season. I’ve been giving tips on my facebook page on how to keep active and providing some healthy eating ideas for family dinners and parties. However this doesn’t help release all of the stress associated with the holidays. For this blog post I wanted to do something different. I’m not going to give fitness tips or inspirational stories.  I will provide practical tips on helping ease the stress of the holiday dinner.

I am a big planner. I plan meals, workouts, social time, cleaning schedules, etc… All of this helps me keep less stressed and frustrated. But what happens if I have to plan a meal for 10 or 15 or 20! I would begin to feel stressed, just as I’m sure many of you would.  I would probably implode under the pressure, sacrificing my healthy lifestyle choices. It doesn’t have to be this way, there is a solution. It comes with planning and accepting help.

Does Aunt Rose and Grandma Jo always offer to bring something? Let them! They want to help. I know it can get crowded in the kitchen, so only let people who are helping you prepare foods in the kitchen. No food bandits allowed. To prevent the temptation of these food bandits or snackers, have a couple of appetizer trays in other rooms. Consider a veggie platter, olives, cheese and crackers, simple fun finger foods that don’t require much work to put together.

Another great way to plan ahead for big get togethers is to cook the night before. This is great for things that you just need to heat up or simply serve, such as casserole dishes, salads (don’t put dressing on it, it will wilt over night!), desserts, and the appetizer trays.

Cleaning up can also cause a lot of stress. Seeing all of the pots, pans, and utensils build up in the sink can make some people feel overwhelmed. You can do as I do which is clean as I go, or you could delegate to someone who keeps asking “what can I do to help.”

Remember by delegating and accepting help allows you to enjoy the day as well. You won’t be trapped in the kitchen all day only to see your friends and family enjoy the cooking and seeing them as the leave. You could instead watch the game with them, play games, or simply get caught up.

I Know You Can!

When I tell you that you can do it, I know you can.

When I say push a little harder, I know you can.

When I tell you this is one of the hardest things you'll ever do in your life. It is. But, you know what? I know you can.

I come from a place of experience. I know what it's like to get the stares, to not fit in booths, to not having the seatbelt fit. I know what it’s like to get winded walking to the mailbox or the car. It’s hard. I know, really I do. I understand. It’s not the way to live, so I changed my life. I know you can too. You are stronger than you think.

This was me 2 years ago.

I did it. I am still doing it. I know you can too. Let's keep going at it together, taking it one day at a time.

My trainer still has to get in my head. There are plenty of times where I think there is no way in the world that I can hold the squat a little longer, lift a little longer, run a little faster, and of course adding that dreaded pulse at the end of some exercises. She lets me know that I can do it, constantly reminding me that I am stronger than “this.” I can’t tell you how many times she’s told me to “get up” while continuing to offer encouragement. When I get up, I finish what I started. We always end strong. Sometimes when I am struggling in a major way she will do it with me, and let me tell you if that doesn’t get you motivated nothing will. But we always, always finish strong.

When I’m done I feel great, I feel a self of accomplishment. I feel strong.

We can only ever improve; let me help you make your improvements. Life can be so much more. I promise!

Support

Having support is critical while on a weight loss journey. It has been my experience that those who have support and/or offer support to others have a higher rate of success. While it is true that the only person who can make the change is themselves, they usually don’t do it all alone.

Having a network of supporters is absolutely critical. The weight loss process is grueling, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sharing the journey with others, not only keeps oneself accountable, but it also helps with staying motivated. I have been involved with many weight-loss groups, most of them were free! So cost should never be an issue when seeking out support. Some groups were better than others, but I have found the best groups are the ones that have open and honest communication.

There is one group on Facebook that is particularly impressive. SPARK. The purpose of this group is to begin, inspire, and transform. This group consists of mostly females who are reaching out for emotional support and motivation on their weight loss journey. SPARK has members who are at the beginning of their journey, in the middle, and those coming within view of the finish line. This group has grown into an online community where close friendships have been made and secrets that wouldn’t even be told the family dog are shared. Respect and no judgment have been key for the success of this group. From this openness it is easier to recognize behavioral patterns that may sabotage ones success. There are also great tips and motivational stories shared here as well.

Perhaps a support group isn’t really your thing. There are people on Facebook who share their stories, who inspire hundreds and some thousands of people to live a healthier lifestyle. I am one of those people. I share my successes, frustrations, let-downs, I respond to messages, I offer fitness tips, and motivation. I am another resource. No one should do this journey alone. You can’t do it alone. You must do the work, but you need a support crew.

I have a pretty large support crew myself. Without them, I know I wouldn’t have had the successes that I have had. I wouldn’t be doing what I love to do, which is inspiring people to change their lives. To show that there is a better way to live. Believe me when I tell you that having someone to talk to when things get tough really goes a long way.

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
Hubert H. Humphrey, Jr.

Let me share with you and incident that occurred to me just a couple weeks ago that highlight how important support is: I was feeling great, just bought some new SMALLER clothes to workout in. I finally fit in a pair of running shorts that I’ve had my eye on for a while. I was on “cloud 9.” I decided to weigh myself, which can be a dangerous trigger for me. I let those numbers get into my head. I know the scale doesn’t define me, but sometimes…I lose sight of that. When I stepped onto that scale, I gained. I wondered how this could have happened. Nothing has really changed, my workouts are more intense, I wanted to quit right then and there. Suddenly all of my massive successes meant nothing. I had lost sight of how far I have come. I texted, phoned, and emailed people within my support group. I got rapid responses. I got the reminders I needed and had to come to peace with myself again. They helped me realize I was more than just a number on the scale. Perhaps my biggest supporter was my trainer. She sat down with me and we talked for an hour, going over everything. We found the cause, and decided to change absolutely NOTHING. My diet and training regime is pretty much the same. And in these past couple weeks since then, I’m down another 10lbs.

Without the support that I have I can guarantee that I would have gone on a full out binge. I would have let the emotions take over. But I didn’t. I reached out and asked for help which is one of the hardest things for people to do. But we have to learn how to ask for and accept the help we seek.

Until next time, stay active, make healthy choices, and support each other.

I Have Been Called Insane

I have done something that I have never done before. Some have called me insane, yes these are people who work at the gym. Some members wonder if I could really handle what my intention was. Many told me the trainer was too hard, they told me she was mean, they told me she would make me cry and push me beyond my breaking point. I will admit, I was nervous about all this. I'm not sure why, after all I love going to her spin classes and she is my personal trainer. Why would she be any different in bootcamp? Why would she go from being one of the nicest people in the world into a monster. But still I was nervous.


The alarm went off at 4am. I slowly got ready to go. Wondering and questioning this "new" experience. I have been told by my trainer that "it will change my life." I left the house at 5, nervous. I had sweaty hands my stomach was upset but still I went. Munching on breakfast as I drove. Listening to my power workout playlist pumping myself up. It was still dark outside, the birds weren't chirping. No one was on the road, even truckers were still asleep in their rigs on the side of the road. Still I pressed on, pulling up to the gym a little before 6. This was it, I was here. Spin & Bootcamp. Her words kept echoing in my mind "it will change your life forever."


I walked up the stairs to the spin room, found my favorite spin bike exactly where I left it yesterday morning. No need to adjust, it was already set to my liking. I looked at the clock and made a dash for the bathroom. I was nervous. I needed time for myself. I was not sure about this anymore. Yes, I've taken spin a hundred times before I know I can spin. I'm good at it. I love it. I love taking spin from this instructor. So what was the big deal? It was attached to bootcamp. I could only imagine the insanity that would occur. I knew there was no way it could be like a regular spin class, or could it? I got myself together and went up and warmed up on the bike. The instructor walked in and gave me a big smile.


The music started, and it was exactly like a regular spin class. It just happened that this spin class was at 6am. The intensity was the same, it was challenging yet fun. It's always fun when this instructor leads us. We rocked out some sprints and climbs for 30 mins then went downstairs for the remainder of the bootcamp class. This was it. This was the complete unknown. What were we about to do?


We each got sliders, dumb bells, mats, steps that were raised by 4-6 depending on skill level, and stability balls. Then the music was cranked higher than I have ever heard it before in the gym and we started. It was 30 mins of non stop training. We did jump overs, mountain climbers, planks (also done on the stability ball), walking planks, step ups, side planks with weights, balanced on the stability balls, planks with our feet on the step, and some things that I don't even know if they have a name. But we did them. All of it. It was amazing.


When it was all said and done I felt fantastic! I was able to make it through the entire class. My shoulder was sore, it definitely got worked harder than I have worked it in a long time since we are still playing it safe with the injury. The instructor was right. I felt different. I felt stronger and I think it really just might have changed my life. I am now considering going to bootcamp before work, that's how good it made me feel.


Next up was a 10:30 spin class: same instructor. I had eaten and felt great. I didn't feel tired, I rocked that class out too. I was amazed at my strength. I couldn't believe how much I have grown. It was once again challenging, but not impossible.


7:00pm. Drums Alive. I have never done this before. I looked it up on youtube and it looked boring. It didn't look challenging at all. My trainer was teaching it for the first time and asked that I come. I did. I was expecting a walk in the park. I completely underestimated that class. It was hard core! I think Drums Alive should be called bootcamp! It was exceptionally challenging. I have never sweated so much, and that is saying something. It's all cardio, no breaks (unless you need one). You just keep going; drumming and jumping and being in constant motion. I had a blast! I would totally do that again! I made it through, barely. There was a point where I thought I was just going to collapse on the floor in a puddle of exhaustion. Still, I had a great time. It was tons of fun and have a new found respect for that class. Anyone who says it's not hardcore. I challenge them to give it a try!


So in one day I did spin & bootcamp, spin, & drums alive all with the same instructor. Was I insane? Maybe a little. But what I find to be more crazy is all the people who tried to talk me out of it. Why would they try to talk me out of health and fitness? Why would they tell me that the instructor is mean and has too high of expectations. I'm here to say that the instructor was just as kind as she always is. Her expectations were not ridiculous. She wanted everyone to work for themselves. She showed level 1-2-3 styles of exercises. There was something for everybody. She pushes you, she motivates you. Taking her classes you find that you want to do well, you want to step out of your comfort zone. You want to improve, you want to be stronger. You want to be able to do the level 3 exercises. You have something to work towards. I am glad I did it. I challenge everyone to step out of their comfort zone and to try something new. You just might surprise yourself.


Oh and by the way, don't listen to the naysayers. They will just hold you back.